A Love Letter to Me.

​In an effort to unpack what freedom is, I unknowingly wrote a love letter to the parts of me that have been wounded and hidden in fear.

Dear Sweet One:

There is a deep sense of knowing that calls me forward. The sense that there is more within me.

I can do better.

I am more than what you say. More than what you’re seeing.

I am creative with clarity and conciseness when I speak.

I love to play – young games, old games, imaginary games. I love to watch play.

I am pulled in by your presence.

I am delighting in your face and the unique way that you move. The quirks in me and you make us uniquely human.

When you are authentic, I am wowed by your beauty. When you are struggling, I see you.

I want to be with you in the places that threaten to take your life.

The voices that torment are lies. At the very least, the threat is that you will always look and feel like you do right now.

I don’t want to feel. If I feel, my body or heart will consume me. I may not make it through the physical pain I’m in. I haven’t had to feel this for so long. I made an agreement years ago that I could not live in this body with these feelings.

The slow thaw has begun. It is terrifying at times. And then I reach for care. I call a caring companion; fellow traveler. Then relief and rest. Like a labor contraction that has come and now passed. I can take a deep breath and keep moving forward.

What is happening? What is the big picture? Where am I on this journey? Please tell me I’m near the end of this work. Awww, sweet one, you are doing such good work. Be patient and kind with all that is coming. All that you are learning to be.

You can do this one step at a time. No need to rush or hurry the process.

You are well.

You are loved. I find delight in your face and the way you dance.

Be free to ask for what you need.

Be free to feel the hard spaces as much as the pleasurable ones.

Be free to love big with your kind heart.

You will be hurt and betrayed. It’s worth the pain to be alive in your body and move freely in the beautiful way that is YOU!

ILY,

Gayle

Come join me GRIEF. Join me SADNESS.

I’d like to understand what you have to say ANGER and RAGE.

It’s fun when you join JOY. I’m so sorry for not hearing you, for not listening. I thought I was. I am here now and I will not look away. If I look away, I will return because you are loved.

I want to see you.

You are welcome at the table. Come and FEAST!